I've made the title blatant and obvious as whenever I gush about Batman and how I love the franchise so much that I'd probably give birth to little bat-babies if I could people don't usually comment. That, and most readers have probably just been put off looking at this via the mental image of me on a hospital gurney squeezing out Bat-babies from a certain orifice.

My orifices aside, I'm obviously intending to write about the new Batman game: Arkham Asylum. It's going to be hard, as I absolutely love the game and I, like 90% of people on the internet, never have anything to talk about unless I'm accentuating the negative, whining or complaining (see last journal for a prime example).

The new game is far from perfect, but it really heavily reminds me of the original Metal Gear Solid. It was highly anticipated, it arrived to positive reviews, it's absolutely brilliant while being simple in execution, features one vast location with frequent back-tracking, and it's really quite short. Just like MGS. What it has also done is actually alter my perspective of the Dark Knight and his relationship with his marvellous selection of villains.

If you've ever wanted to know what being Batman would feel like, this is the game for you. It is the first time I've ever played a game that has three-dimensional combat as a main feature that actually works (because, Tekken aside, combat simulators haven't worked since Streets of Rage) and it feels really good. There's nothing like stomping a guy's face in with your size 11 Bat-boot, stunning some goon with your cape, counter-attacking some mook lunging at you from behind and then leaping backwards over another thug to take down a guy unhooking an assault rifle from the wall in the hopes of gunning you down before you can introduce your Bat-fists to his soft, squishy head. That takes about 6 button presses using the brilliantly implemented controls, and you don't feel guilty that it doesn't take effort to hold your own against the escaped convicts, because if you're not careful those goons will happily gather round and beat seven kinds of Bat-guano out of you.

It's not just the feeling of power you get as Batman, you get to experience first-hand what it is like to be targeted by several of his rivals. For example, I'm a huge fan of the Joker (as I mention in these journals every time I update) and was really looking forward to seeing him in-game, voiced by Mark Hamill (Luke Skywalker to all you Bat-plebs out there). By the end of the game, I was really glad to smack that gangly clown upside his head, because this was the first time I had ever seen the Joker from Batman's perspective. The man just doesn't shut up! And he insists on sending constant waves of goons at you! And traps! Oh, the wonderful traps! Suck my fist, Joker.

I've also gained a new respect for Killer Croc, because it's one thing to observe a towering crocodile-man from a distance, but it's completely different to be chased by one through its sewer lair. Bat-bricks were shat most heavily.

Also, a special mention for Scarecrow, who turns up to do things Psycho Mantis wishes he could do. This rather neatly ties-in another MGS1 analogy, and brings up the question of who would win in a fight - Batman, or Solid Snake? I hate to abandon my one gaming love, but my money is on the Bat.

So yes, epic game, and I recommend it most heartily to people who either want to enjoy something that's classic Batman or to those who really want to know what it is like to be a proper super hero (none of that wishy-washy web-slinging nonsense, you wouldn't catch me throwing sticky white stuff around willy-nilly...ahem).

In other news, Sam and I won the , but no need to celebrate because a) it was by default and b) our opponent has very recently suffered a terrible loss in their family (I'd link and suggest people lending their support, but given that they have changed their journal I guess they don't want random internet strangers comforting them in their time of grief, which is fair enough). However, if you haven't read our final round entry I am contractually obliged to stab you in your sleep with a rusty spoon into a soft bit of my choice (yes, you signed a contract the moment you started reading this! It's new BS-9000 internet cameras I'm using to scam the interwebs).

That's all for now. Dammit, Summer's almost over! D:

P.S. Marvel Comics got bought out by Disney? AHAHAHAHAHAH-wait, that could lead to many lucrative movie, comic and game deals built on corporate subsidies in a bid to rival DC Comic's partnership with Warner Bros. Oh shi-
P.P.S. That's a pretty funny image, Batman and Bugs Bunny vs. Spider-man and Mickey Mouse.
P.P.P.S. Although I found the experience of the Joker wearing me down over the course of the game a lesson in how to hate someone really fast, he's still my favourite Bat-villain. Period. Especially when voiced by Luke Skywalker.